Wednesday

5 tips for dealing with negative comments

Blogging is great, right? There's so much love and support in the blogging community. However, as we all know, there are always going to be people who don't like you, or what you say, and make no secret of the fact. I'm very lucky to have not come across a lot of negativity in the context of my blog but I think we all get the odd comment that rubs us up the wrong way, whether intentionally or not. 
So we need to have a little stash of methods to deal with these comments appropriately. Approaching it the wrong way could make things spiral out of control and end up reflecting badly on you.

1. Establish the intention
Is the commenter being intentionally unkind? It could be that they're trying to give you constructive criticism but it's just not coming out the way they intended. For example, something like "Your hair looks really messy here. You should style it a bit more" might seem a bit mean at first but they're actually giving you something to think about. In this case, a simple reply like "Thank you. I'll consider this next time" is all you need to do. 

2. Argue with logic
This is usually found in the cases of controversial posts. Somebody may disagree with you and passionately argue their case. Remember that, although it may feel personal, it's probably not you that they have the problem with, just your belief. The best way to deal with this is to reply politely and reiterate your beliefs with clear logic. Getting defensive or replying along the lines of "Yeah, ok, whatever love" will only make you look immature. The commenter may try to pull the argument off to another tangent, in which case it's best to keep the debate on track. Just a little "Let's keep to the issue at hand" should put the message across.

3. The brush off
Of course, there will be those people who intentionally try to make you feel bad about yourself. The "You're so ugly!" comments leave no doubt as to the commenter's intention. Most people would probably tell you to ignore these, although I would just brush it off with a pleasant reply.

This has happened to me in real life. I received an email calling me a "fat cow". I just replied saying "Thank you for your email and your concern for my health. I'm aware of my weight but I just love biscuits too much!" I actually received a polite reply back, much to my amazement!

4. To delete or not to delete?
This is really personal choice. However, I prefer not to delete. Although this takes away the commenter's power, I think you can achieve a lot more by sending a message to everybody that you aren't phased by these comments. It shows the commenter, and those who may be considering sending negativity, that it doesn't bother you, and it could also set an example to other people who might be struggling with receiving negative comments. It also shows that you're not immune to negativity.

5. One final tip
Never sink to their level! It can be very easy to revert to playground behaviour but it gets nowhere and only makes you look immature. No matter how much you want to, don't insult them back. That only ends up in a huge, childish row and nobody wants that. Rise above it, stay mature and take comfort in the fact that you're the grown up in this situation.

I hope these have helped somewhat. As always, if you have some questions, please do let me know and I'll do my best to answer them! 

7 comments :

  1. I love your 'I just love biscuits too much', it's brilliant! Those were the kind of comments I was worried about when starting out on blogger and YouTube. This has really helped me boost my confidence. Thank You! Xx

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  2. Great, positive advise that's useful for any situation! Xx

    http://makeupbycandlelight.blogspot.co.uk

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  3. Eww, you suck. Just kidding, really great post, Becky!

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  4. I really enjoyed this post! I posted an almost 'ranty' blog a few weeks back about annoying habits that girls have and I got emailed a while later from a rather put out girl telling me she was going to punch me in my ovaries! I found the threat more funny than anything else, so chose to just ignored it.

    Your piercings make me regret taking all mine out!
    Kirsty xo

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  5. I've been lucky enough to not receive any negative comments but it's a matter of time. These are great tips to keep in mind! I'm not confrontational in my personal life and I don't think I could be on the internet either, so these are nice ways to show that you've brushed off the comment and your life has moved on!

    - Jess
    The Mod Mermaid

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  6. Great post! It's sad that some people have nothing better to do than criticise others! But not stooping to their level is defiantly the best option...

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