Diaries April 2006- February 2007

You guys are in for a treat. This period was a weird time in my life. I hit rock-bottom of angst in September 2006 and then slowly normalised. Get ready to see my transformation before your very eyes!

As always, all spelling and grammar has been left intact. 

Jepha (17th April 2006- 20th June 2006) 

"A bit about me:I'm seventeen years old and studying A-levels in 3D art, English literature, and graphic design, and a CACHE diploma in childcare. 
I have naturally brown, curly hair, but it's dyed black. I wear black emo glasses and braces. As soon as they come off (it should be by June!) I'm getting snakebites. I have my nose pierced twice, a scaffold and four ear piercings. I did have two surface piercings on my stomach, but they recently grew out. 
My favourite bands are My Chemical Romance, Aiden, AFI, The Used, Bullet for my Valentine and Funeral for a Friend. I have met MCR, Aiden, The Used's Jepha Howard and Bert McCracken (knob!), and FFAF's Gareth Davies, as well as Story of the Year.
I have been with my boyfriend Jamie who is 19, since Christmas Day 2005. We met at The Adge, the rock club where I spend every Saturday night."

Saturday 22nd April 2006
"Yesterday, me, Marie and Steph went to town. Marie got her hair cut (she's now looking very scene!)... We [went] into New Look and played 'find the scenest outfit'"
*We were extremely snobby emo kids and totally looked down on the scene kids. 

Monday 1st May 2006:
"Saturday was AMAZING! [I went to Give it a Name] I stayed at Marie's Friday night, and woke up at 5 in the morning. We got ready- I had my Gerard make up on; red smudged up to my eyebrows and down to my cheeks. We left at 6 and walked to Asda, where we brought cameras and Kerrang... Inside, we managed to get in the 5th row from the front. Earl's Court is absolutely cavernous, and holds 15,000 people so I was impressed to be so close. By the time the second band were on, I'd been pushed to the barrier- right against it! I was over the moon!! I said to myself "I'm here until the end. The only way I'm getting out is if they drag me out unconscious". 
I nearly died. I had 4 hours until MCR with no bands I wanted to see until them. I'd been on my feet for about 6 hours, I was being crushed against the barrier which was chest height so was pressing my underwiring into me. I was so hot, and so weak, my feet and legs had given way but I was being propped up by the crowd, we were that packedin. I couldn't breathe and I had such immense pressure on both sides of me I actually thought my hips would shatter. Crowd-surfers and people being dragged out were constantly going over me, kicking me in the back and head. And whenever the security guards came up to get someone, my hands and arms would be crushed into the barrier. I was tempted to get pulled out, but I was determined not to give up... I was so exhausted, that I was close to falling asleep, but I knew I had to stay awake or they would pull me out. I must have looked awful- both the girl beside me, and a security guard asked if I was ok...
At the end of [MCR's] 45-minute set (45 minutes! :( ), the crowd dispersed in under a minute, which was surprising, and as soon as I had space around me, my legs gave way. During MCR's set, nothing mattered. The pain went, I actually couldn't breathe but I kept on singing."

Wednesday 3rd May 2006:
"OH MY GOD! My photo was published in Kerrang! On the same page as Gerard Way. It rocks! I keep looking at it. It's the photo that the photographer took on Saturday. It's amazing!!! I'm gonna frame it! Somehow, I knew it would be published. It rocks!!" 

Saturday 17th June 2006
"Being me (universally acknowledge as the 'ugly friend')..."

Jimmy Havok (21st June 2006- 1st November 2006)

"A bit about me:
I'm eighteen years old, and have just finished college studying 3D art, English literature, graphic design and childcare. In September, I will start to study primary education at the University of Winchester.
I have naturally brown curly hair, which is theoretically dyed black, although it's very nearly back to my natural colour. I wear black emo glasses and braces. I have 12 piercings: 2 nose, 4 ear and a scaffold. My 2 surface piercings grew out.
My favourite bands are My Chemical Romance, AFI, Aiden, The Used, Funeral for a Friend and Bullet for my Valentine. I have met MCR, Aiden, The Used's Jepha Howard and Bert McCracken, and 4/5 of FFAF, as well as Story of the Year, Drive By and Fighstar's bassist."

Wednesday 2nd August 2006
"[After an argument with my boyfriend], I threw some items loudly around the room and when he didn't move, I threw a biscuit at him. A few minutes later, I heard him eating the biscuit. That was the last straw". 

Monday 18th September 2006
"Well, here I am [at uni]. It's so weird, I can't get used to it. It's so quiet. And lonely. My room's ok. I don't like the green carpet or the stripped wood, but it's a nice size". 

Saturday, 23rd September 2006
"I'm getting a bit worried about our relationship... AND- this will sound stupid- but he's put Fiona as his top on Myspace."

Thursday 28th September 2006
"I went into New Look to treat myself, and ended up buying a pair of emo jeans. Shameful, I know but they're jet black and, amazingly, they don't give me sausage legs!"

Saturday 30th September 2006
"I'm dying inside. We're in the process of breaking up...I'm so scared. I actually physically hurt. And I feel awful. I tried eating but I feel worse now. I feel empty, like there's nothing left of me. I can't even cry."

Wednesday Ribena (5th November 2006- 13th February 2007)

"A bit about me:
I'm at the University of Winchester, studying Primary Education.
I have black hair, and 12 piercings- 4 in each ear, a scaffold and 2 nose piercings. I am a bit emo.
My favourite bands are My Chemical Romance (who, by March, I will have seen 8 times), Aiden (who I have seen twice), and AFI (who I finally saw for the first time last month).
I have met many bands: MCR, Aiden, Funeral for a Friend, Bullet for my Valentine, Drive By, The Used, Story of the Year, and Fightstar (who I don't like, to clear it up!)"

Wednesday 6th December 2006
"So I'm at the train station, about to go home. Because I'm "suspending my studies". I'm leaving, getting a job as a Christmas temp whilst I look for a job as a Teaching Assistant. As soon as I have my first wages, I'm moving out... I was a bit upset about it at first, but the more I think about it, the more it seems like a good idea". 

Friday 29th December 2006
"Everyone said it would get easier. "Time is a great healer" and all that bollocks. They were lying. It's getting harder. At least then I had the hope of getting over him. Now it just seems more endless by the day."

Tuesday 2nd January 2007
"We went to KFC and it was nice. He bought me a Pepsi and handfed me some of his chips as I had gloves on... Then I checked my bank balance and, to my joy and surprise, I had £17 in there. So I treated myself to the bus home." 

Wednesday 10th January 2007
"Everything was going great until it got emo."