Thursday

What I learned from our wedding


Am I dragging out this whole wedding business too much yet? Only a couple more posts to go, I promise! Even though we didn't have a traditional wedding (posts here and here for new readers), it still caused me a huge amount of stress but I realised that all the things causing me that stress didn't really matter. I know what it's like planning a wedding and I wish I'd had someone on board to talk me down. So if you're in that situation at the moment, allow me to tell you what I learned.

Don't sweat the small stuff
This is a big one! As well as all the numerous other little things that freaked me out, when we turned up at the venue we discovered that our chair hire company had sent over cheap black chairs instead of the pretty white ones we'd ordered. I was really upset but, you know what? Nobody noticed. In fact, I completely forgot about it once everyone arrived and in the end we got our money back from the chair hire company because of their mistake. So it was all fine in the end! 

You don't need a big guest list

Our wedding was small with around 30 people for the meal and 60 for the evening. As I'm quite an introverted person, I have a small close-knit circle of friends. Of course, I am friendly with lots of people and I have work colleagues, university friends, school friends and all the rest but I decided early on that I was only going to invite the people I really loved. If I started getting into inviting colleagues, for example, I'd have to invite them all and suddenly it would be a very expensive event. I did have some worries about a small do feeling flat and awkward but everybody enjoyed themselves, even if there wasn't a jam-packed dancefloor.

DIY and scrimp wherever you can

I have a post coming up on how we saved money so I won't go into too much detail here but save wherever you can. We bought our flowers from Tesco the night before. It cost £9 to decorate the entire venue and it looked so cute. Rich and some friends/family made the cake during the reception. It was absolutely delicious and cost about 15p per head. When you and your guests get home, you won't be thinking "I wish I'd spent more on the flowers", so why pay more?

People will make an effort to get on

Note: I'm not talking about these girls in the next paragraph. It's just a nice photo to show people getting on. 
I was so worried about people clashing but everybody was respectful and mature about it. Nobody threw a drink over their rival Peggy-Mitchell-style. Nobody argued. Nobody whinged. They all appreciated the day for what it was- a happy celebration. 

Do it your way

This is what I'm most proud of. Watching programmes like Don't Tell The Bride in the run up to our wedding, I worried that I would regret not having a traditional wedding with a big white wedding dress. Did I? Hell no! Our wedding was perfect. I love the photo of us in our wedding gear on the rollercoaster. I love the look on people's faces when I tell we married at Hogwarts. I love how "us" it was. 

I'd love to hear advice from other married couples: What did you learn from your wedding? 

16 comments :

  1. I also eloped to the States for my wedding and did it in Vegas with our parents and my best friend present. It made me realise what it's all about and it was completely stress-free!

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  2. Great post as always Becky :) My wedding is four weeks on Saturday (eek!) and agree with loads of what you've said - especially about doing as much as you can yourselves/roping people in to help out (my dress, the cake and the stationery are all being made by family members) and putting your own stamp on things (I have a non-traditional dress and sparkly shoes and there is lots of tea-themed stuff as we both love tea). And definite yes to not sweating the small stuff; this is the bit I need to remember as I keep worrying I'm too organised and have overlooked something really crucial that I'll only remember the day before...

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    1. Eeee! Not long now! It will all be fine. If something goes wrong, you probably won't even notice!

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  3. This is so sweet and true! I know I'm going to be stressed out all the time if I ever get married but you are so right! It's just about enjoying yourself! The mini pavlovas look so yummy!

    hellomissjordan.blogspot.co.uk xx

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  4. I'm not married yet (and have a long ways to go), but I do love your blog! Honestly I think some of these tips can apply to life and get togethers in general! It always amazes me when people freak out for their birthdays about who they can and can't invite. If they're good people, they'll work to get on to celebrate your special day, whatever special day it is!

    Also, don't worry about talking about your wedding stuff. For whatever reason, non-married girls eat this stuff up like cake. We love it!
    www.natillie.com

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    1. I didn't think of that but you're right- this could stretch to all sorts of other events in life. I'm glad you're enjoying the wedding posts!

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  5. This is great! The thought of getting married terrifies me but a wedding like this terrifies me a little less and makes me realise my wedding can be whatever I want it to be and it's to make me happy not everyone else :') x

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    1. I could not have done the whole walking down the aisle thing. Far too scary!

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  6. Lots of v.good advice. Having got married almost 7 weeks ago, I'd agree with all of that. We had lots of DIY and enlisted the help of friends and family - setting up, clearing away, making our photobooth and cakes. I'm with you on the flowers, ours were bargainous and we didn't fork out money on a bar, instead we made the day BYOB. Make things as personal as you want, to hell with tradition, the Rock'n'Roll bride website taught me that! Do not worry about your guests, you've invited your close friends and family so they'll be happy to get on with whatever you've got planned, they're there for you and your partner afterall. The only thing I'd add is if people still think they'd be stressed on the day, having a normal start to the day, like eating breakfast with friends and family for example, calmed me right down. The only butterflies I had after that were good ones :)

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    1. BYOB is a great idea! I wish I'd thought of that!

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  7. My wedding is actually next month (WOW!) but so far I've learned that I can't do it all. At first I wanted a very country DIY wedding in a barn but once I started planning everything I needed - Eeek! It was too much stress. I knew if I went that route I would love how it looked in pictures but I would have abhorred the process behind it. Instead I went with a pre-made package that had most elements chosen for me and then a few DIY elements mixed in. I'm so much more relaxed and much happier for it.

    Your Hogwarts wedding is to-die-for. I loved the Slytherin dress so much.

    Kindness is the best accessory,
    Rebecca

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    1. Good luck! You must be so excited and it sounds like your wedding is going to be perfect.

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  8. I learned not to let others makes decisions for me. EBay is your best friend for fun cheap things. Enjoy every minute and forget everything that stressed you out

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  9. I LOVE this post! My sister and I just did our wedding advice over on our blog and I smiled that we shared many of the same tips! :) Your wedding looked gorgeous and simply perfect! x

    Lucy x |~ SweetIsAlwaysInStyle || Lifestyle Blog ~

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