25 things fat people shouldn't do: Ride a scooter

"25 Things Fat People Shouldn't Do is an unabashed middle finger to the preposterous idea that any human who weighs more than the status quo does not deserve to live a full and well rounded (ahem) life. The list of 25 is composed word for word from direct lists of sheer assholery found on the internet. These range from the absurd to the profoundly shameful, and I will be disproving this offensive notion with style. May the Chub Club live long and prosper!"-The Militant Baker

Ride a scooter

Now, I'm not sure if this means scooter-like-micro-scooter or scooter-like-Vespa-scooter but, seeing as I've never been on a Vespa, a micro scooter will have to suffice. This is actually me pre-fatness but it's the last time I was on one. It will have to do. I'm having far too much fun in Bristol with Leona right now, so just humour me today. 

A few years ago, my aunt had quite a nasty accident on a micro scooter. She got two scooters, put one foot on each and tried "skiing" on them. She broke several fingers in her hands. I was very aware of this when I was attempting to scoot along and I was a complete wimp about it, crawling along slower than a particularly slow thing.

They're scary things, ok?