Tuesday

On being plus size


I publish a lot of what might be called "fat acceptance" posts. My participation in 25 things fat people shouldn't do and How to be a fat B features are two such examples. Yet every time I post one of these, I get the same comments "You're not fat!" "You don't look plus size!" "But you're gorgeous!"
I appreciate these comments. I really do, but here's the deal: They all seem to be aimed at making me feel not fat: "But you're gorgeous, you're not fat!" Of course, the assumption here is that fat and gorgeous are two mutually exclusive things; I can't possibly be fat, because I'm attractive. Yet I could list a whole myriad of gorgeous, fat women. So I'm happy to be perceived as gorgeous (who isn't?) but let's appreciate that I'm fat too. 

The fact remains that I am fat. I'm a couple of pounds away from 200, have a BMI of 34 (obese) and I'm a UK size 16. Whether I look it or not, I am fat: Medically, socially and any other way you can think of. 

I'm ok with that. As I've mentioned before, my weight has been up, down, up again, down again and up again. The fact is that I like Curly Wurlys too much to care about a little extra weight! 

Here's the odd thing though: I feel that in blogging, I don't really have a "niche". I don't fit in with the regular size 8-12 bloggers and neither do I fit into the plus-size bloggers. When I look at gorgeous fat ladies like Jes (The Militant Baker), Rachele (The Nearsighted Owl) and Georgia (Cupcake's Clothes), I understand why people don't consider me plus size. It's a strange situation when, in this society obsessed with thinness, I'm left feeling not plus sized enough

So where does that leave me? Well, for now, I'm happy floating along in my obese-but-not-entirely-plus-size blogging bubble. Who's with me? 

45 comments :

  1. I know EXACTLY what you mean, I can't seem to find a 'medium' niche either. It's strange!

    Steff

    ReplyDelete
  2. I know exactly what you mean! People always tell me I'm not fat and that I'm gorgeous all the time. But honestly I'm fat as hell. Lol. And I actually have no problem being fat, plus size, voluptuous, or whatever you want to call it.

    P.s. You're beautiful! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha I love this! Fat and gorgeous is the way to go! Thank you :)

      Delete
  3. As long as you're happy with yourself that's all that matters. People need to realise that there are beautiful bigger ladies out there, who don't fit the mould that society has created. I don't feel that I can't read your blog because I'm smaller than you, I love your blog! :) xx

    fabheadtotoe.blogspot.co.uk

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I totally agree! Thank you so much!

      Delete
  4. I was talking about this exact thing today. I was asked why I don't do OOTD's and it's mostly because I'm not small enough to be average sized, but not big enough to be plus sized. Although, saying that, reading your blog makes me want to give it a go!

    Jayde | Jaydeetc.blogspot.co.uk

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's such an awkward place. Go for it though! I'd love to see them!

      Delete
  5. Blah to blogging niches, I don't feel like I fit into any of them. In fact I just treat my blog more like a LiveJournal than a blog nowadays. Everyone is awesome just how they are and nobody should think they're not "enough" of something to fit in!
    X

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I have the "Becky" niche cornered!

      Delete
  6. I'm with you and know exactly what you mean. I'm size 14/16 too and I feel it to be neither here nor there! What to do with us? xx

    ReplyDelete
  7. Oh it's so silly isn't it. I get annoyed when I can find clothing in the shops EVEN in plus size because I carry my extra pounds ALL over and don't have the traditional image of fat which is the apple shape. So stuff ends up looking tenty on me when I could do with a hint of waist! (but well fitted)


    Ultimately -regardless of size, whatever - you are just a person...giving their opinion on life, love and everything. Just be Becky, not a "size" because this is what people like about your blog -whether you are skinny or plus size...your posts are enjoyable to read!

    xx
    Simply Woman Magazine

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. YES! I have this exact same problem! I have a small waist proportionately, but nothing ever fits it!

      Delete
  8. I am with you on this! I'm 18 (although veering towards a 20 these days...) and I'm completely happy with that, but my friends seem to think that they need to lie to my face to make me happy. I'll say that I'm off to the fat section in New Look and they'll cry "ooh but your not fat!" I clearly am, and I'm fine with it, my husband is fine with it and I wish they could be too!

    I get what you mean about 16 being awkward though- I was a 16-18 while at uni and the "normal" range stuff was too small and ill fitting but the "fat" range stuff was too big, nightmare! xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I hate it when people say that! Yes I am, and there's no problem with it!

      Delete
  9. Me tooooo, I find this oh so often with clothes, regular sizes are too tight & plus size is too big, le siggghhh

    ReplyDelete
  10. I'm with you girlie, I don't mind my size but I am overweight and I'm trying to do something about it because I want to be fitter xxx

    ReplyDelete
  11. I am so totally with you, I've got a bit of an inferiority complex about being a blogger who is plus sized (because technically i'm not a 'plus sized blogger' because you won't catch me doing outfit posts). I do feel like I'm not actually accepted as a beauty blogger sometimes because i'm bigger, but like you i'm not entirely plus sized, i'm a 16-18 which is on the lower end of plus sized ! x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's such an awkward place! I understand!

      Delete
  12. I feel you!
    I'm an American size 13-16, depending, and though I don't look like I am, I am. And, it bothers me when people are like "you aren't fat!"
    No, I am. And, I know I am. But, I'm not going to get all defensive because someone pointed out what I have known for years. My weight goes up and down, too, and it's because of my stress levels. When I get stressed out, I don't eat at all. Which is why I was thinner in high school, because I was so active in various school activities. It was in college and now, in the working world, where I have gained a substantial amount of weight. I know this I recognize this, and I'm changing it, slowly. But, I take pride in knowing that I know how to dress my shape and size. That even people who aren't the so-called "normal" sizes can still be successful in the fashion industry.

    I love your blog because you don't try to hide that you're bigger, and you don't keep being "plus size" from allowing you to wear the cutest dresses. In fact, you wear the cutest things I have seen anyone wear, ever.


    www.katielikeme.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It reminds me of the part in Shallow Hal when Hal is telling the Gwyneth Paltrow character that she's not fat. I'm always like "Yes, I am! It's fine. I understand it!"

      Aaw, thank you! I can't resist cute clothes haha!

      Delete
  13. This is an awesome post. I love how comfortable you are with your body! Great Job!

    XLizzy

    ReplyDelete
  14. I feel the same way as you! I'm around 155 lbs and 5'3". I can't say that I'm not overweight. And, yet, I'm still not large enough to quite fit with other plus size bloggers, or small enough to fit in with the "average" bloggers. It's also why I've yet to post an outfit post because I'm not quite sure where it would go or who it would benefit.

    And I get similar comments as you at times, and it really does make me take a pause. Being pretty and being bigger don't have to be seen as opposites, so it is always strange when people comment as if this is so. Also, don't know about you, but I find comments where people who are substantially smaller than me will say to me, "Oh, you're not fat, you're so pretty! I'm the fat one!". It's just...weird. How do you even respond to that?

    Anyway, I'm rambling, but I get exactly where you are coming from! You definitely aren't alone! xx

    Megan @ Little Miss Average

    ReplyDelete
  15. I am! This post reflects exactly how I feel, standing between two worlds! When I started thinking "I'm not plus-size enough", at first I felt it was great to think of someone else's curves in such a positive way. I still do, but I wish there were more of us "in-betweeners". I do feel we are under-represented when, in truth, we represent a good portion of the female population. Then again, I guess the most important is to feel good in your own skin and share that confidence with our readers.

    xoxo
    Isa

    www.aufildisa.com

    ReplyDelete
  16. I'm completely with you on this! I'm anything from a size 12 to 16 and according to my BMI am obese and yet I'm regularly told that I'm not fat or I can't be fat because I'm pretty. Although I appreciate the sentiment the fact is that I am fat and being told that I'm not is like being told you can't be part of that group but at the same time I'm not small enough to be part of thè "normal" bloggers. It's a strange place to be, thanks for making that ok!
    Jodie x

    ReplyDelete
  17. I'm yet to meet a fat person IRL who is so cool with their own weight, like you. In front of fat people, weight becomes a taboo topic because you don't know how touchy said fat person is and don't want to hurt feelings.
    I totally agree with your comment about the perception of fat and gorgeous being mutually exclusive. Nowadays, it's just politeness to protest vehemently whenever anyone says they're fat, whether it's true or not. No use encouraging denial of something that is pretty normal anyway.
    "It's a strange situation when, in this society obsessed with thinness, I'm left feeling not plus sized enough. "
    I never thought about the space between regular-size bloggers and plus-size bloggers but that space is -your- niche now!
    Cass x
    Undercover Dress-Up Lover

    ReplyDelete
  18. Im a size 16-18 and I understand what you mean about not being plus sized enough. Can I join your bubble please? I'll bring curly wurlys!

    ReplyDelete
  19. I think you've got a brilliant attitude to your weight and I think more people should take the same view! Be happy in your own skin :) xx

    Abby | Beauty and a Blogger

    ReplyDelete
  20. I really really love this post. Especially what you said about treating being gorgeous and being fat as two different entities. I have put up with listening to the phrase you are not fat, or you are pretty if you lost weight. I totally see you as a plus size blogger and you are gorgeous!!!!! You werk it gurrrl LOL xx

    ReplyDelete
  21. thanks so much for your lovely comments :) I love your make-up <3

    xx michaela

    ReplyDelete
  22. I'll join you! I'm a size 14/16 with a BMI of 30 - again too large to be 'skinny' and too small to be 'plus-sized'. Society (and to a certain extent, the blogosphere) doesn't seem to have a place for us medium-sized girls! x

    ReplyDelete
  23. I'm with you too! As a size 12/14 US, it's hard fitting into any niche. Love you though, and all that you do.

    Also, your eyes are captivating in that last photo! Holy wow!

    xo Kristina Rose
    www.thewhimsicaldays.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  24. The next person that says you're not beautiful, send them my way and I'll feed them a nuckle sandwich!

    You are beautiful Becky! You knows I loves you. X

    ReplyDelete
  25. I feel EXACTLY the same way!! So glad you posted this. I'm a size 14 UK so we're about the same. But hey just know that I totally appreciate every single time you give bra advice!!! or flaunt your sexy curves!!

    ReplyDelete
  26. OOh me too! I'm a uk 14/16 and feel not thin and not fat - i'm in the middle and don't feel like i fit anywhere!!

    ReplyDelete
  27. why label things anyway? we are who we are, we do what we want right?

    ReplyDelete
  28. I am totally with you Becky! I am the same size as you and sometimes I feel like I am in a weird limbo zone too. I occasionally get the same comments on my blog and they are frustrating (if not mostly well meaning). I agree that being fat and beautiful are not mutually exclusive, which is part of the issue with the comments. But where do we stand in the fatshion blogoshpere? I am pretty happy floating too. Why try to pin down a good thing?

    ReplyDelete
  29. i'm with you, cause i totally feel the same way! :)
    fat AND beautiful is the way to be.
    xo,
    aimée

    ReplyDelete
  30. Fact: it might just be these pictures, but you look just like Evanna Lynch who played Luna in the Harry Potter movies.

    ReplyDelete
  31. I think a lot of people relate to this, me being one. Is nice to know I'm not alone.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Oh my! It's so inspiring to read this and to see all the other bloggers who have commented feeling the same. I wouldn't say I'm plus size either. I'm usually a size 12-14 yet I struggle to fit in clothing that would make my fashion blog a bit more interesting. I'm hoping I'm inspiring others out there to feel confident but worry I get lost in that big blogosphere of the thinner lot or the plus size ladies. Victoria xxx www.thedaisyjaynes.com

    ReplyDelete

I read all comments and appreciate every single one, even if I can't always reply. If you have a question or need a reply, feel free to tweet me @BeckyBedbug- I always reply to tweets!

Blog Design by Get Polished | Copyright Becky Craggs 2017